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This morning I had a
'no way, you've got to be kidding' moment.....  
As I normally do, I was journaling the events of the previous day....  
and I suddenly realized that  
'someone' was 'peering over my shoulder'..... 
...Not Really someone 
but someone in my brain.....  

I was documenting some work stuff
and I realized that I was trying to meet an expectation
for someone else...
Someone who has been a critic in my life....

Whoa.
What's that all about?

and could that that be good
or is it all bad?

Good performance, bad motivation?
Hmm..

So as I was pondering that
I asked.....
"God,
having others influence me
and having their expectations of me
change my behavior.... Is that bad?
Is that how I should 'operate'?"

as I was thinking and praying
I looked up and read the next line in my devotional text.

2 Cor 5:14 For the love of Christ controls us,

because we have concluded this:
that one has died for all, therefore all have died;
15 and he died for all,
that those who live might no longer live for themselves
but for him
who for their sake died and was raised.
16 From now on, therefore,
we regard no one according to the flesh.
Even though we once regarded Christ according to the flesh,
we regard him thus no longer.
17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ,
he is a new creation.
The old has passed away;
behold, the new has come.

IF
The Love of Christ controls me....
What would that look like....?

I am beginning to realize that it is not the WHAT I do
but the WHY....

The What I did to 'please' that person
was out of
fear

The Control of Christ in my life is
Love...
or
is it sometimes Fear?

Hmm....

The word used for control is:
- Constraint
- Hold in
- Establish boundaries

so what's my motivation?
Fear
or
Love?

it Changes everything.

Not what I do
but 
Why....

Lord,
You have opened my eyes again
to my fears
and my heart motivations

Thank You for opening my eyes to the problem
AND
showing me
the answers on how to do life
Your way.
out of Love...

Living for You
in Love
Relating to others
in Love
Guided by Your Spirit....
creating Kingdom..... Here on Earth
healing and health in my relationships with
You
and others...

Wow Lord,
that's changes
everything.

Yes, everything...

Thank You, Lord Jesus.

PJ