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Reading in Proverbs I was reminded that my heart does not always reveal its motivation... even to myself.  Blind spots...
16:2 All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, but the LORD weighs the spirit.

So what to do?  I find I need to ask the Lord.  Check it out. Stop being defensive when questioned...

Lord, I really want to know what is in my spirit.  I choose humility, to listen when You speak to my ways...
Even when you use others to say it....

Yes.

PJ